This begs an interesting question. Can you be a hot mess and a good Zen teacher? I think I might argue that yes you can be both, at least for a little while. This brings me to ZEN SEX SCANDAL 2012/2013. Actually it's been going on for years (and of course really for centuries but I'm not going to go there yet). As reported in the New York Times, more concrete reports of sexual misconduct have come out against Joshu Sasaki Roshi of Rinzai-ji temple. It is being written about everywhere from the LA Times, Sweeping Zen, Shambhala Sun, and of course the blogs of Brad Warner, my husband and other internet-using Buddhists.
I have been thinking about this for quite some time but was not sure how to approach it in writing, here's my best go. The question is not whether Sasaki did anything wrong. The answer is most clearly yes. He repeatedly made sexual advances and coerced women to do sexual things they did not want to do and many of the things he requested he did so under the guise of the spiritual development of his victims. The controversy lays more in the response to the occurrence of these events. It is claimed that the powers that be at Rinzai-ji actively tried to cover up what they knew was going on. We have a range of reactions in regards to what should be done in a situation like this. No doubt some people want Sasaki's penis on a stake outside his temple. Others want him removed from his position, which amounts to more of a symbolic move because he's over 100 years old now. And still others want more action from the Buddhist community at large to deal with the hierarchy that let this continue when they knew what was happening. Finally, people want open dialogue. People want to talk about the rules of behavior in a community where there is hierarchy, "teachers," human beings and the historical oppression of women world-wide (and especially within Zen) since the very days when the Buddha would not ordain a woman.
Brad Warner is a very vocal Zen "teacher" who hails from under the flag of punk rock or hard core and uses this to appeal to certain crowds and as he says "get their butts on the cushion." This is all very fine and good and his punk rock jam includes approval for teachers sleeping with students. Part of this may be self-serving, since he also has been involved in such actions (see his book "Doc Martens Outside the Door") but at the same time there is a dose of reality here: we are humans, sexual beings and sometimes this does not follow along the lines of a man-made hierarchical structure. In other words, there's a grey area! This is our life!
As a woman, my (first) reaction, and that of many others people is that Sasaki and even Brad Warner are chauvinist exploiters of women and follow their dicks around ('scuse my language) regardless of the vows they took. Now of course my more rational brain knows that not all "scandals" are as atrocious as Sasaki's wrongs. And that "scandal" is quite relative, we humans do love some drama don't we? Richard Baker cheated on his wife having an affair with a beautiful married student. Brad Warner had a relationship of some kind with a student but neither of them was married and it was consensual. Priests, and many students, of Zen take vows that include not misusing sexuality. And this vow is made with no clear outline for what it means. It is a point of inquiry.
I am really stumped by the question of abuse of power. It is commonly accepted that in any given situation there is often a power differential that makes it beneficial for the person with less power to please he person with more power. The benefit could be material (a better job, fancy clothes) or status or some other feeling of increased self-worth based on association. In a university a teacher can't have a relationship with a student who they have to grade otherwise it's ok but maybe frowned upon. At a workplace it is against the rules for a boss to get sexual favors in exchange for something but if there's no clear "exchange" it's just two consensual adults. But is it? Women have developed over centuries as humans with less power than men and didn't they have to adapt in ways that accept that as the rule? For another example, is it possible to look at the statistics and experience of African-Americans in the United States outside of the fact that less than 150 years their ancestors were legally still enslaved? Can we look at the current experience of women outside the fact that less than 100 years ago we couldn't actually vote? So who's responsibility is it for women to learn how to love themselves without needing to be sexually desired by men? (Or by anyone for that matter but that's another blog post, this one is quiet long already)
Oh yeah and about those gender-neutral bathrooms. All of these LARGE questions above boil down to what can I do? What does all this drama for me and my practice of upholding the vows I just took last weekend ?(!) What am I doing that contributes to a culture in which men still think it is harmless when they just do it with any sexy woman throwing herself at him or in which people cover it up when high school boys drug and rape a fellow student (Steubenville, OH) or Sasaki Roshi's cronies cover it up when they can't get him to stop? What am I doing that makes people feel less than? OR better worded, what can I do to make people feel more welcome and accepted for who they are? Maybe something like gender-neutral bathrooms at Green Gulch is one way. And we have to keep a healthy dose of skepticism about the rules and norms. In a community like Green Gulch, where I live, what is appropriate sexual conduct? Who can fall in love with who? Is the topic of sex something that should be kept behind closed doors or discussed puritanically? Are women the only ones who need to dress modestly? What does dressing immodestly look like for a man? Why do we have a small section in the library called "women in Zen?" Etc. Etc. Etc. The quest continues.
thank you thank you thank you. i really enjoyed your post, and encapsulating some of the things i've been thinking about. i've been stewing over this (Sasaki and the larger question of what it means to misuse sexuality), and debating about what to write about it. so i really appreciate the succinct way you talk about the issues - not only for Zen, Buddhism, or Americans, but for women worldwide. there's another issue for me, though: the ability for victims of sexual abuse to speak up and be heard. if there's a culture of secrecy (in any power differential, as you describe above), or coercion for the victim to not speak up - then there is a serious problem. thanks for raising this question. i'll read more, including the links you suggest, and continue with you to find my place in this discussion.
ReplyDeleteThe links I included are just random bits of the discussion out there right now. One thing I keep trying to do is figuring out how to bring this back to practice. You know, I can't run out there and stop every abuse happening so with that in mind, what can I do? One thing I have been thinking about is trying to gather some Zen women to talk openly with each other about our life, our experience, our culture, sex, sexuality, gender, rules, forms, etc. (Austin has requested another discussion that can include allies). And yes within this conversation including the blaming of victims and silence that is forced because of what I think is a perpetrator's deep-seated(seeded?) fear and shame. I think that's what Grace Shireson was trying to do with the council she formed as a place for victims to share their experience in a safe place with people trained in this stuff. It's a start.
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ReplyDeleteJust tonight I was talking to Tom over dinner, yet, about how a certain kind of rejection from someone (of a gift, or an offer of friendship) wounds me, and I can't forget it; and that's because of how my father used me sexually for years and then rejected me when I started menstruating. (Much much later I learned this is rather typical. Maybe they only really like children.) I just don't forgive those people, hard as I've worked on forgiving him in the 15 years since he died and I began to remember that repressed abuse.
ReplyDeleteSo I have always been conscious of the patriarchy and paramilitarism in the Japanese Zen groups and retreats I've been to. In this life I am a woman, and profoundly wounded by the way women are seen as sexual objects who belong to their fathers first. I never read a reference to "a man" when "humankind" is meant without my hackles rising a little and that quiet growl in the back of my mind.
I was very disappointed recently when James Ford did a post on Ptheos in which he said the issue wasn't really sex. Bullshit. I haven't figured out whether or how to talk to him about that. Sounds like I need to.
I just went back to James' post, which is called "A Few Words on Zen's Sex Scandals," and reread it, and I can't find fault with it. I must have gotten fired up when I read that line "Sex isn't the problem," and not read the rest carefully. He points to a problem of humility. I point more directly at the problem of authority-patriarchy.
ReplyDeleteYes I must confess I did that to brad Warner as well. He's still a bit of a fool but I see now that he likes to write really provocative things (to get reactions from people like me?) then in the comment streams he seems to tone it way down. Anyways, without having read Ford's post yet my first thought is that sure, the issue is complicated and involves a lot BUT it is about sex! Anyone who has had sex knows it's powerful. It can be used as a weapon or a tool. I know there are ways women 'use' sex as a tool but I would argue there's something far more damaging when the person with more power (usually a man) uses sex as a weapon. Jeez of course there's a humility problem but that doesn't even begin to explain the causes and effects. I'll have to go read the post, I only recently started reading Ford's stuff.
DeleteYes I went and read it and it is pretty good. But I still think patriarchy and our history with it can't go without saying.
DeleteIn every relationship where there exist a power dynamic, people have to learn to keep their common sense. I am Asian raised in a Buddhist family, for many years I witnessed inappropriate behaviours of monks at temples. The scheaming against each other for students, power, wealth and position. All this happened while I was growing up looking for an appropriate teacher. I had wishes to become a nun over the years and was always told by my mother to not do so. "Nuns are second class citizens in the monasteries" she said. Although a very devout Buddhist herself she knew the reality of how Asian women are treated in Buddhism. Herself being attacked by a monk to have sex with him. She graciously slapped him and asked him: "what do you think you're doing?" She told me to use my good common s sense, that although Buddhist teachers may know more than myself, they are still human. When I was 16 a monk tried to kiss me, I pushed him off and told him to leave else I would call my mom. Another time I witnessed a young abbot who was close and very dear to my family fell in love with my elder sister and she with him. My mother went to the monk and got on her knees to beg him to let go of my sister and maintain his celibacy vows as she cannot take on the karma of helping the cause of a monk breaking his vows and not stop it before it happens. He later felt so ashamed and resigned his abbotship and moved to another city. I heard later that he got another girl pregnant and fled to the US where he nows is an abbot of another temple in Florida. It was then that the image of higher authority and spiritual perfection died for me. I was depressed for a while but got over it. It was then that I realized the Buddha taught us to always be our own authority in the learning of the dharma. I ceased to look for a teacher and learn to practice on my own. It took me 10 years to solve my koan but once I solved it, I found that my humble teacher who I originally took my Buddhist Jukai with, who doesn't have a university degree or even a temple of his own was the one who knew the truth the whole time. He was always my teacher by sending my family hundreds of books over the years from Asia. He has no paper or any students to speak of other than me and my mom. No Inka made from famous masters or recognition that he was even a zen master as they generally don't do it in Vietnam like Japan. Now with a sangha of my own for after my teacher just told me verbally to go and teach, I had learned why the sangha is a gem in the buddha's teachings. For without the sangha and its egalitarian nature, abuses of power happens. My sangha makes all decisions together and I am merely there as the Buddha's mouthpiece. It helped my practice tremendously to be a real human and not some ideal of perfection. When I broke my precepts, I got down on my knees before my senior students and do repentant just like them. No matter how deep or great our realization, there will be always blindspots to discover. Nothing beats honesty and sincerity. I feel compassion for those hurt by the actions of zen teachers as well as for the zen teachers who did it. They had threw away honesty and sincerity which is the most important element of our practice. No one is without sins, it is the one who is willing to admit them and is humbled by them that will always experience the real dharma and the freedom from suffering it brings.
ReplyDeleteWith joined hands!
OK, I still use methods necessary for my student's progress that is sometimes controversial. I had proposed sex one time to a homosexual male student who had doubts about accepting his homosexuality and whether or not he should get a wife and make kids. I caught him checking my boobs first and it just came out of compassion. We were both single at that time anyhow. LOL! It threw him into 2 weeks of chaos and avoidance of being alone with me, but he came through accepting his homosexuality more, we never had sex and he remained my student. I told many of my senior student about the incident and they all felt it was appropriate to help him although a little rough for him but much needed to cure his condition of being a homosexual who despises homosexuality. It is hard to define the line between lust and compassion for people outside of what happened, but where there is secretcy, there is something wrong.
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